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Friday, January 25, 2013

Quotations: Community Season 3 Edition




If I wanted to run a monkey hotel, I’d install a banana buffet. I’d use vines as elevators. And I’d put tail holes in the bathrobes and I’d lower all the shower knobs.
Dean Pelton

Feel the terror of the Norwegian Troll!
Pierce

I demand to be housewarmed!
Troy

And he chainsawed them into bits. And then he put them back together, and then he chainsawed them again. Forever.
Shirley

And she ripped into his torso like a gerbil shredding a Quaker Oats box, sending chunks of viscera and an aerosol mist of blood all over the skanky concubine. Then she flossed her teeth with his tendons. And because he was vampire he lived through all of it. He had to watch her swallow his last eyeball. She kept it connected to the optic nerve so he could see down her throat to his own partially digested flesh in her stomach.
Annie

I've become a stranger to myself. I'm bald now. I've always been bald. I merely dreamt of having hair. And now the bald man is awake.
Jeff

I know what an analogy is. It's like a thought with another thought's hat on.
Britta.

You think this is just a room where Troy and I play dinosaurs versus river boat gamblers together?
Abed

I'm more turned on by women in pajamas than lingerie. I just want to know they're comfortable.
Troy/Abed

Talk to me more about 'crazy town banana pants.'
Dr. Heidi

Chang eats the sun and drinks the sky and they both go with him when he dies.
Some girl in the heist episode.


Shut up Leonard...
I found your youtube page. What's the point in reviewing frozen pizzas anyway?
I know about your crooked wang.
those teenage girls you play ping pong with are doing it ironically.




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